I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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