The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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