You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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