We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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