i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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