Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
