Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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