D3 body, D1 cock
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
