Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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