Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just pee around me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
