They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
