If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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