Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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