If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
