Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
