Quick, to the slutcave!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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