You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
