I want to stick my p in your. b.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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