It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
