names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
