So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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