This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
