She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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