he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
