Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
