so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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