So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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