my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
there is puke in my bra ... again
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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