Plan B is the new Plan A
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
its liver damage thursday
Randomize