I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
