never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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