I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
