you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
