i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
