I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
my poor anus
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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