Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Please, let me fuck your mom
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize