Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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