We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
