I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
