Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the raccoons are back...
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