He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
