She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you inspire me to be a worse person
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
