Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize