i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
