I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
