we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
