I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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