Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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