I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
