The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
