I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like a drive thru vagina
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
