watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize