I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
