He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
