I'm eating all of the evidence.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
