dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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