If that was your dad, he is hot
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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