fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
