omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
