At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
