I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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