i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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