Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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