hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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