I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
