Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
