the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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