Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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