If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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