Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
