no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
