you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
