Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
