Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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