I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize