Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize