she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
